Buzz word- a word or phrase, often an item of jargon, that is fashionable at a particular time or in a particular context (Source: Oxford Languages).
Ten years ago, had you ever heard the term self love? Was it used in the same context as you hear it today? I myself hadn’t really heard about it or knew much about it. It’s only since the past 5 years where I have delved into my own healing journey that I saw the poor respect and little self worth I had for myself. I loathed the face staring back at me in the mirror. Always disgusted by what I saw and never happy with my own reflection. I continued to head down this dark hole, never finding a way out. Then one day when I had finally fell and hit rock bottom, I knew something had to change. That’s when I started to investigate and really delve into why I despised the person staring back at me.
What I came to realise is that I so freely show compassion to others, care for others and continue to want to help others but when it came to showing these qualities to myself, I didn’t. So, I had two choices. To either continue to despise the person staring back at me or make peace with her. Luckily, I chose to make peace. This is where my journey began. I started writing down the things I did not like about myself and tried to figure out where the hatred stemmed from and how it had built up over the years. I found that I was numb and failed to do things for myself. Failed to listen to the constant signs my body was showing. Failed to listen to what that little girl was telling me.
It was through my journaling that I was able to progress on my healing journey. It helped release a lot of the inner hate that had been building over the years. Through the journaling, I was able to identify exactly where I needed to work on myself. This was when I started to look into self love. The word self love is just that. Actually, giving yourself the time and putting energy into you. Loving her (or him) unconditionally. But where we seem to go wrong is that society has placed so much pressure and emphasise on self love. Making it bigger than what it needs to be and causing a lot of people to roll their eyes when they hear this word (I admit I have been there). It’s a buzz kill. People are sick of it. Society has made us sceptical of this phrase and made it almost a draw card for businesses to play on our emotional ties and sell us things we may not need. Don’t get me wrong, there are products out there that can certainly help with connecting within and showing up for yourself (I created Self Love Diaries and Tool Kits for this, so I see both sides). But you do not need to spend hundreds of dollars investing in the best products (but if you feel this works for you, then do it! Everyone is different). What I am trying to get across is that you need to go within and start showing up for yourself. Start doing things that make you feel good. That make you smile. That is self love. It’s not a buzz word. It cannot be a buzz word. Self love is a continuum. It is a promise you need to have with yourself. To stop ignoring your inner child or what fills you up.
Don’t fall into the trap with thinking this is just a buzz word that will be ‘cool’ for maybe two years and then it is out the door. Self love cannot be a buzz word. We cannot afford for it to be a buzz word. We need to be practicing it on a daily basis. Taking steps to promote a healthy relationship with ourselves. Accepting who we are when we may be down or when we are on a high. But don’t allow it to be too complex.
So many of us have been practicing aspects of self love for years without even knowing. If you are taking time out for yourself you are practicing self love. If you are saying no to things you do not want to do, that is self love. See where I am going with this? Self Love is about putting you first. It is about showing up for yourself and giving yourself the time you need. If you are feeling down, then sit with these feelings. If you are on a high, go with that high. But continue to check in with yourself.
So, call it, self love or something else, just put it into your daily practice, do whatever you need to do but make sure you continue to check in. You owe yourself that.