Have you ever found yourself looking at someone and without even realising you are judging them on how they look? On what shoes they are wearing? On what labels they are repping? On their hair do? On the way they present themselves. So many thoughts come sweeping in without us even realising we are judging someone based on not knowing who they are. Not knowing their back story. Not knowing anything about them.
We are all guilty of being judgemental at times. Half the time we don’t even realise we are judging someone else- it becomes a natural habit, almost like second nature. It’s our minds going back to default mode- pretty scary huh? We’ve been brought up around judgment, criticism and these society standards/expectations we’ve been raised to follow. We’ve been raised to believe. But why? Why do we do this? Why are we always comparing and judging others to ourselves or what we have been taught are ‘society standards’? Every person is a human and it does not make them lesser of one than you due to their circumstances, due to their monetary value, due to their societal status or due to their body shape.
This is the reason why so many girls are so worried to express themselves. Why so many girls live in fear. Why so many females are bottle up inside and too scared to be who they truly are. Too scared to express themselves. To let their souls, speak. This is one of the major reasons why mental health is such an issue. Why body image dysmorphia is prevalent. Why so many of us continue to feel unfulfilled and unhappy within. Why so many of us have such an unhealthy relationship with ourselves.
We should be lifting one another up. Helping one another grow. Helping one another overcome hardship and adversary. Supporting one another to start expressing who we truly are without the attaching judgments. How do we expect females to start expressing who they are and being comfortable in their own skin if they continue to compare and compete with the person right next to them? If they continue to judge the person right next to? Making them feel like this is normal. Making them feel like this is the way society is.
As we judge, our self-conscious holds onto these thoughts and without us even realising, stores them in our memory bank. Stores them in our mind for later use. So you may judge someone based on the jeans they are wearing. Maybe you believed they shouldn’t have worn ripped jeans due to their body shape. Sub-consciously you hold on to that feeling so the next time you buy jeans you will avoid the ripped ones you saw, in the fear that someone else will judge you like you had judged that other person. Your thoughts start to dictate your actions. Start to take ownership. Start to lead the show yet again.
But why do we allow ourselves to get sucked into this cycle? Why do we allow ourselves to seek judgement? We are all connected. We are all one.
There is so much backlash on what a body should look like. So much energy is wasted on this. It’s so disheartening when you see someone open up on their Instagram and be real and authentic. They removed the filters, showed an unflattering angle and didn’t wear what society felt they should for their body shape. They cop so much backlash. So many horrible remarks about how fat they are. About how bad their cellulite is. About how they shouldn’t wear that. What’s it to you? If anything, we should be encouraging them! You never know what someone else could be going through. Start supporting. Start to lift them up. The more real and authentic your gram becomes the less pressure you put on yourself and the more you learn to start accepting yourself for who you truly are. The pressures for edits and filters start to fade away and you start to become comfortable with not needing to be perfect or confiding to what society standards are.
The next time you notice yourself judging someone take a step back. Become aware. Make the conscious decision to stop yourself. Don’t dwell on it. The first sign to change is awareness. Once we become aware and stop our actions the rest will follow! We need to unwire and change our processes!
Let’s break the cycle. Let’s unite. Let’s start championing those who are going against the traditional societal norms and help support each other. Spread those positive vibes. Because I can guarantee you will feel better for it than staying in that negative energy and continuing to judge others. Afterall, what do you get from judging others? It only leaves you feeding that subconscious and limiting you from expressing who you truly are. Allowing yourself to live in fear.
Love from the Italian who loves to speak,