Stop comparing- we are all on our own timelines.
You are exactly where you need to be. There is no rush. There is no pressure. There is no competition.
Growing up, we were told from a young age that we need to be at a certain place in our careers at a certain time. We need to have that full-time job, a house, continue to climb the corporate hierarchy, aspire to become the next CEO, dominate at life, be on that 7 figure salary in order to become successful. We are always fighting for that increase in pay bracket or that promotion. Always worried about where the person next to us is at. Comparing ourselves to others who are younger or older in order to ensure we are on track with the timeline, with where society expects us to be at a certain age.
But guess what. We are all on our own journeys. We are all on different timelines. We are all not the same just like we all look different, have different qualities and different personalities. Yes we have similar traits to others but we are our own individual unique souls. So how does it make sense to compare ourselves to the person next to us or who is the same age as us? How does it make sense to expect to be where they are at? Expect to be on the same journey? The same timeline? Some stages in our lives we may be faced with situations we cannot control. We cannot fix. Such as a sickness that may affect our health- that is where I am at right now. Before this I was sucked into this cycle of wanting to overachieve, wanting to be the youngest CEO, wanting to be better than the person next to me. I felt I had to prove myself to society, to others in order to reach for acceptance. I felt I had to prove myself to show that I am worthy, and I am valued. I rushed straight from high school to university as I wanted to make a start in my career path and become successful at a young age. I had goals, I had ambitions, I had motivation and drive. Nothing was going to stop me.
Until I was faced with my health. Something I could not control but had spent years mentally trying to build a better mindset. I finished my degree and landed my first full time job where I found I was ticking all the right boxes. I found I was on my way to be successful, a young go-getter and be known in my career. Until my health took its toll and I was forced to quit as I could not be at work anymore. It was like someone had just grabbed my face and smashed it into a brick wall. I was forced to stop. Forced to slow down. In so much pain both mentally and physically and I could not control it. I was determined I would be better in two months’ time but that two months has now gone into 7 months with no end date or no gauge into how long it will take to fully recover. During this time, I was so fixated on needing to get better in order to continue on with my career path. I was worried I would be left behind. I was worried if I took too long to recover I would not be able to be young and successful, I continued to compare myself to others who were of a similar age to me and would become so fixated on needing to get better in order to continue on my career path and be more successful than the person next to me. What I failed to realise was the damage these thoughts were having on my emotional state. I was not getting better as I continued to be in a stressed place where I was so focused on needing to get better I was not allowing my body to fully rest and recover in order to obtain optimal health again. I felt others were judging me for being at home sick when people my age were in the midst of their careers. I felt I was wasting time.
In the back of my mind I also knew I felt that after all these years of the mental battles I had with my weight, my physical body was now failing me. It was like a punishment for everything I had put my body through in those early years. But mentally I did not want to accept this either. So I kept trying to push through it all and be fixated on the 'end' result of become better. Getting back on track and achieving in life. The pressure I placed on become better in reality only made things worse.
When I now look back I understand that there is no set time frame on your health. You cannot expect to become better in two months when your body is crying for more. You cannot expect to be fully recovered if you are not allowing adequate rest and repair to occur. I was too fixated on being left behind that I did not realise the damage it was having on my body and how I was prolonging my recovery to health. I was so fixated on comparing myself to others my age and what society deemed acceptable I allowed it to cloud my judgement and effect my healing process. It was only until I took a step back that I realised there is no rush. There is no set age where you have to tick certain things off. You do not have to be the youngest CEO, you do not have to be in a managers role within two years, you do not have to do anything you do not want to do. The pressures society places on us is something we can control. We have the power to make the decision to allow it to affect us. We have the power to go against these so call norms and go through life in our OWN TIME.
I had to remove expectations and allow my body to process what it needs to. I had to allow my body to take the time it needs to heal. It doesn’t matter where you are with life, everyone’s journeys are different. Everyone is on their own path with their own timeline. You are not slower than someone else nor are you faster than someone else. It doesn’t matter if someone is younger than you and is already killing it in their career and you are still deciding what you want to do. It does not matter. You are where you need to be. Right now. In this moment. Stop comparing your journey to the person next to you. Stop placing this pressure on yourself. It is not healthy and will not allow for you to gain happiness. The moment I accepted where I was at and understood there was no rush, was the moment the real healing took place. The moment the inner peace finally came in.
I want to leave you with a famous quote that touched me and showed me that I am exactly where I need to be.
You’re not late
You’re not early.
You’re very much on time
We are all here to learn new things on this earth. To find inner happiness and become fulfilled with what we do. This may take longer than some to find but that doesn’t matter. As our journeys are all unique. We are all on our own time zone. And that’s pretty special. That’s the magic of being alive.
Love from the Italian who loves to speak,