Isn't it funny how you can be having an amazing day, you can be feeling on top of the world, like no one can bring you down, like you are invincible? This feeling can quickly fade away as comparison creeps in and we start to allow room for it to enter. Giving this comparison room for it to question who we are? To question our self-worth. What our bodies look like. Why we are not as good as someone else? This comparison sneaks in without us even realising and before we know it, your amazing day can change into a shit day. Into a day where you just want it to end, where you just want to cry or scream. Into a day you no longer see as amazing.
Comparison is one thing that can lead us into a spiral of emotions and into a negative headspace. It creates judgement. It creates fear. It creates jealousy. It creates an energy that does not serve us. An energy that does not fuel our highest self. It feeds that little voice and creates an inner dialogue that can be hard to turn the volume down on. It is easy for us to allow that voice to take the lead and to allow ourselves to enter this spiral of emotions and stumble down a negative path. On the contrary, it can be hard to try block out that voice and prevent it from taking over and putting a stop to the murmurs and whispers of that inner voice.
So how can we stop it from taking the lead? How can we stop comparison from entering into full effect and catch it before it does greater damage? How can we control our thoughts and allow ourselves the power to go beyond the comparison and break away from this toxic cycle? How can we remove ourselves from this pattern and create a new pathway?
Unfortunately, there is no quick fix. It takes a lot of persistence. It takes a lot of repetition. It takes a lot of energy. But the change you can create can change the way you handle life. It can change the way you look at life. It can ultimately change the way you live life.
1 - Awareness
In order to change a pattern or create a new pathway, you must become aware of your old pattern. Of your old traits. When comparison creeps in you need to become aware of this so you can take the steps you need to in order to pivot and change towards a new direction. The power of awareness is one that often gets overlooked. Not many understand the true power. But when you become aware of your mind, the creeping thoughts, the inner dialogue, this is when you can create the change and implement practices in order to create new pathways and new patterns.
2 - Watching
Removing yourself from being the victim and instead enter as the third person. Watch your mind compare. Become detached from it. Become isolated from it. Do not allow it to become you. Listen to what it has to say and then stop there. Do not allow it to go any further.
3 - Cut it
Cut the cord. Cut the path. Cut the rope. It no longer serves you. Do not all it to continue to flow. Cut the voice from entering into a deeper, darker state. Cut that voice from allowing that message to go any further. Once you watch it you need to detach it, remove it. Visualise yourself cutting the chain reaction. Where the comparison enters and heads down that spiral. Visualise yourself cutting that cord and stopping yourself from entering this toxic state. Visualise this process. Visualise yourself cutting those cords. Cutting the pathway. Cutting the damage.
4 - Change
From here we need to change the comparison. Whatever you are comparing yourself to, whatever you are cutting the cord from, replace it with a positive message. Replace it with a positive pathway. What do you LOVE about yourself? Focus on what makes you, YOU. Focus on what you love about yourself and what you are proud of. Here we are stoping the spiral we were heading down and change the directions. Re-focusing our energy on something else. If you find comparison still creeping in, ask yourself why? Why must you be something you are not? What is it that will change if you reached that? What is it that wants you to be that? This is the ego coming into play and disconnecting you from your heart. With your true essence. Remove that and go back to a positive thought. Replace it with love and compassion.
5 - Acknowledgment
The power of acknowledging where you are at. Where you are now. Did you struggle to find a positive thought? Did you struggle to cut the cord? What did you struggle with in this process? Acknowledge it. Become a present of it. Find out where you were struggling and find time to work on that area. Start with affirmations. Start by talking to yourself. Start with looking at yourself in the mirror and telling her how much you love her. Start with appreciating who you are. It's ok if you couldn't cut the cord the first time. It's ok if that inner voice comes back with the same comparison message. Start this process again and continue to work at it. Habits cannot be created after one go. You need to be persistent with them. You need to have patience. You need to allow yourself the time to grow and change old patterns and habits.
As they say, Rome was not built in a day. Things take time. You cannot expect to change a habit after one occurrence. You cannot expect to change the thoughts in your head that you have built up and grown over time in one day. It would be like trying to write with your other hand instead of your preferred hand. By default, you write with one hand (unless you are ambidextrous and change between the two - I admire you for that!) Our brains work in mysterious ways but we have the power to change our thoughts, to reprogram our brains. Remove the comparison. Start appreciating yourself for who you are. Accept ALL of you. Inner happiness will follow.
Love from the Italian who loves to speak,